Ruttortquam is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, dishonourable wren.

Ruttortquam created a down quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ruttortquam, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ruttortquam, she will turn you into a rat.

Ruttortquam's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Ruttortquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear black scarves.

2. You must pray to Ruttortquam eight times a day.

3. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never think about gravity.