Tettispagnig is a god.

It takes the form of a large, selfish beaver.

Tettispagnig created the Virgo Supercluster seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tettispagnig, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tettispagnig, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Tettispagnig's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Tettispagnig's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from gray manatees for they are unholy.

2. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. You must pray to Tettispagnig six times a day.

5. Always stare at clouds.