Zenbamrow Dinkipjon Bancantam is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, narcissistic squid.

Zenbamrow Dinkipjon Bancantam created matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Zenbamrow Dinkipjon Bancantam, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Zenbamrow Dinkipjon Bancantam, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Zenbamrow Dinkipjon Bancantam's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Zenbamrow Dinkipjon Bancantam's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not dye your hair green.