Logtarpcuss is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, ruthless fly.

Logtarpcuss created humanity two million years ago.

If you believe in Logtarpcuss, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Logtarpcuss, she will send you a sign.

Logtarpcuss' most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Logtarpcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Run away if eight shrews approach from the west.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not dye your hair turquoise.