Zancutsid is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, impressive yak.

Zancutsid created a down quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zancutsid, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zancutsid, she will turn you into a snail.

Zancutsid's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Zancutsid's Holy Commandments

1. Zancutsid loves geese, so they must be honoured.

2. Run away from black porpoises, for they are unholy.

3. Never wear jumpers.

4. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.

5. Zancutsid must be the most important thing in your life.