Fadmiffun is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, prudent spider.

Fadmiffun created Asia eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fadmiffun, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fadmiffun, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Fadmiffun's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Fadmiffun's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bananas to goats while wearing indigo coats.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Hide if four swans approach from the west.

4. Never eat spinach.

5. Do not drink alcohol.