Hatyathiv is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, bad-tempered hippopotamus.

Hatyathiv created the planet Venus four years ago.

If you believe in Hatyathiv, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hatyathiv, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Hatyathiv's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Hatyathiv's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry sharks.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.