Tarptim is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, staggering parrot.

Tarptim created dark matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarptim, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tarptim, she will turn you into a sheep.

Tarptim's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Tarptim's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry frogs.

2. Do not shave your hands.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Ducks are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never write about galaxies.