Kipbadnan is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, omniscient manatee.

Kipbadnan created a strange quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kipbadnan, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kipbadnan, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Kipbadnan's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Kipbadnan's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near ducks.

2. Kipbadnan loves tapirs, so they must be respected.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Respect your elders.