Sismotfuntun is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, happy weasel.

Sismotfuntun created time and space five million years ago.

If you believe in Sismotfuntun, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sismotfuntun, it will think nothing of it.

Sismotfuntun's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Sismotfuntun's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near ants.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Sismotfuntun.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not stand on grass.