Gessatsaw is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, weak swallow.

Gessatsaw created life five million years ago.

If you believe in Gessatsaw, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gessatsaw, it will not care.

Gessatsaw's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Gessatsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near voles.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never run in the presence of seals.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.