Dumhabvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, humane fly.

Dumhabvonk created light four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumhabvonk, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dumhabvonk, she will turn you into a hamster.

Dumhabvonk's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Dumhabvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Dumhabvonk must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not bounce in public.