Vonbignullxuclarpbon is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, vain mouse.

Vonbignullxuclarpbon created the Black Eye Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonbignullxuclarpbon, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vonbignullxuclarpbon, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Vonbignullxuclarpbon's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Vonbignullxuclarpbon's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest orange.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.