Jiplitril is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, prudent fairy.

Jiplitril created dark matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jiplitril, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jiplitril, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Jiplitril's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Jiplitril's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four dolphins approach from the north.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Hide from black squirrels for they are unholy.

5. Do not stand on grass.