Jopbumnan is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, calm coyote.

Jopbumnan created the planet Saturn two billion years ago.

If you believe in Jopbumnan, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jopbumnan, he will cry a lot.

Jopbumnan's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Jopbumnan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Otters are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.