Titfun is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, witless troll.

Titfun created light four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Titfun, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Titfun, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Titfun's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Titfun's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from white monkeys, for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

3. Do not wear yellow clothing.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always treat snails with great respect.