Spagzagjonbut is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, fussy crab.

Spagzagjonbut created parasitic wasps three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagzagjonbut, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Spagzagjonbut, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Spagzagjonbut's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Spagzagjonbut's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Spagzagjonbut.

4. Never feed carrots to aardvarks while wearing black shirts.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.