Quagmitkan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, omnipotent crab.

Quagmitkan created dark matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Quagmitkan, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Quagmitkan, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Quagmitkan's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Quagmitkan's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never eat melons.

3. You must never eat bread.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not make images of living things.