Lenkanbep is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, dishonourable hyena.

Lenkanbep created a top quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Lenkanbep, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Lenkanbep, she will curse you with boils.

Lenkanbep's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Lenkanbep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt mice.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never wear kilts.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Put Lenkanbep first in all things.