Hivgamnab is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, humane seal.

Hivgamnab created a Higgs boson eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hivgamnab, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Hivgamnab, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Hivgamnab's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Hivgamnab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never feed oranges to mites while wearing orange shirts.