Gebgidsaf is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, selfish dugong.

Gebgidsaf created dark energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gebgidsaf, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gebgidsaf, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Gebgidsaf's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Gebgidsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Never feed cucumbers to goats while wearing brown corsets.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.