Goflooptonk is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, sage naga.

Goflooptonk created the Black Eye Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Goflooptonk, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Goflooptonk, he will destroy your home solar system.

Goflooptonk's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Goflooptonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Fast once a month.