Vonkmiffen Gupdidvol is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, annoying mink.

Vonkmiffen Gupdidvol created the planet Mars seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkmiffen Gupdidvol, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vonkmiffen Gupdidvol, it will turn you into a plant.

Vonkmiffen Gupdidvol's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Vonkmiffen Gupdidvol's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

2. You must never eat lemons.

3. Do not wear titanium on your body.

4. Erect four carbon sculptures of Vonkmiffen Gupdidvol on top of important buildings.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.