Litmutsad is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, resourceful monkey.

Litmutsad created Africa two billion years ago.

If you believe in Litmutsad, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Litmutsad, he will turn you into a hamster.

Litmutsad's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Litmutsad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not wear red clothing.