Nelmetfit is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, amazing mouse.

Nelmetfit created Asia eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Nelmetfit, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Nelmetfit, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Nelmetfit's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Nelmetfit's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven seals approach from the south.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Hide from violet ducks for they are unholy.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never wear cyan tights.