Tapnulbappidjinflammonhub is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, fast octopus.

Tapnulbappidjinflammonhub created an up quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tapnulbappidjinflammonhub, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tapnulbappidjinflammonhub, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Tapnulbappidjinflammonhub's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Tapnulbappidjinflammonhub's Holy Commandments

1. Tapnulbappidjinflammonhub loves hamsters, so they must be respected.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Always wear turquoise.

4. Do not wear blue clothing.

5. Never talk about horses.