Vagzedbus is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, pitiless faun.

Vagzedbus created a bottom quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vagzedbus, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vagzedbus, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Vagzedbus' most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Vagzedbus' Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Never paint your neck yellow.

4. Do not speak about figs.

5. Put Vagzedbus first in all things.