Canmanken is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, unselfish wolf.

Canmanken created time and space four billion years ago.

If you believe in Canmanken, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Canmanken, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Canmanken's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Canmanken's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Canmanken loves snails, so they must be honoured.

3. Never feed peas to turtles while wearing green trousers.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not covet oxen.