Flamvednur is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, unjust dugong.

Flamvednur created the planet Venus nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flamvednur, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flamvednur, he will not care.

Flamvednur's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Flamvednur's Holy Commandments

1. Always help grasshopers in need.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Flamvednur.

3. Worship no other gods but Flamvednur.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always help manatees.