Zakpitrigkam Fetabpithenlapfungupmig is a god.

It takes the form of a large, self-assured troll.

Zakpitrigkam Fetabpithenlapfungupmig created oxygen three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakpitrigkam Fetabpithenlapfungupmig, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zakpitrigkam Fetabpithenlapfungupmig, it will turn you into a snail.

Zakpitrigkam Fetabpithenlapfungupmig's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Zakpitrigkam Fetabpithenlapfungupmig's Holy Commandments

1. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

2. Always look after injured grasshopers.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Always obey Zakpitrigkam Fetabpithenlapfungupmig's priests.

5. Never look in ponds.