Fetgovwot is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, moody yak.

Fetgovwot created everything that exists four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fetgovwot, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fetgovwot, it will be mildly annoyed.

Fetgovwot's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Fetgovwot's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Always help sick dolphins.

4. Never go into turquoise rooms.

5. Always look after injured voles.