Bedwitfig is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, boastful narwhal.

Bedwitfig created dark matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedwitfig, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bedwitfig, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bedwitfig's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Bedwitfig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always obey Bedwitfig's priests.

4. Hide from turquoise frogs for they are unholy.

5. Never paint your face red.