Hadbadhog is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, confident hamster.

Hadbadhog created vertebrates four million years ago.

If you believe in Hadbadhog, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hadbadhog, she will turn you into a duck.

Hadbadhog's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Hadbadhog's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

2. Do not kill birds.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always help sick voles.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.