Fadgadtig is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, awesome porpoise.

Fadgadtig created Mount Everest four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fadgadtig, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fadgadtig, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Fadgadtig's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Fadgadtig's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven foxes approach from the west.

2. You must never eat figs.

3. Worship no other gods but Fadgadtig.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Hide if five sheep approach from the north.