Matsakont is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, amazing zebra.

Matsakont created an electron eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Matsakont, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Matsakont, he will turn you into a goat.

Matsakont's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Matsakont's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Hide if four whales approach from the east.