Larnwadpop Nurtkimwon is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, flying ant.

Larnwadpop Nurtkimwon created an up quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnwadpop Nurtkimwon, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Larnwadpop Nurtkimwon, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Larnwadpop Nurtkimwon's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Larnwadpop Nurtkimwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat strawberries.

2. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a building before entering it.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never wear scarves.

5. Never paint your head pink.