Tom is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, cheerful whale.

Tom created the planet Mars five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tom, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tom, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Tom's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Tom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Tom loves otters, so they must be honoured.

5. Run away from pink rats, for they are unholy.