Fotyattbenvog is a god.

It takes the form of a large, resourceful cow.

Fotyattbenvog created the planet Jupiter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fotyattbenvog, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fotyattbenvog, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Fotyattbenvog's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Fotyattbenvog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.