Timbissnurl is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, all-knowing crocodile.

Timbissnurl created a strange quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Timbissnurl, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Timbissnurl, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Timbissnurl's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Timbissnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about stars.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Do not kill mice.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a room before entering it.