Fatflanvogbemnut is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, compassionate zebra.

Fatflanvogbemnut created the Small Magellanic Cloud four million years ago.

If you believe in Fatflanvogbemnut, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fatflanvogbemnut, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Fatflanvogbemnut's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Fatflanvogbemnut's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

4. Do not wear yellow clothing.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.