Gutortzed is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, intelligent ferret.

Gutortzed created the planet Jupiter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutortzed, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gutortzed, he will destroy your home planet.

Gutortzed's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Gutortzed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never think ill of sick goats.