Jarnwanflam is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, capable whale.

Jarnwanflam created water eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jarnwanflam, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jarnwanflam, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Jarnwanflam's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Jarnwanflam's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.