Bisspanwab is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, impressive tapir.

Bisspanwab created tapeworms three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bisspanwab, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bisspanwab, it will destroy your home solar system.

Bisspanwab's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Bisspanwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never talk about moons.