Camhamlag is a god.

He takes the form of a large, two-faced newt.

Camhamlag created the planet Jupiter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Camhamlag, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Camhamlag, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Camhamlag's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Camhamlag's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Camhamlag.

2. Never think ill of sick moths.

3. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Always help turtles.