Quartlapnarlist is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, benevolent shark.

Quartlapnarlist created energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Quartlapnarlist, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Quartlapnarlist, he will turn you into a duck.

Quartlapnarlist's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Quartlapnarlist's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry ants.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quartlapnarlist.