Latlarnjan Madgaddin is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, happy jackal.

Latlarnjan Madgaddin created energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Latlarnjan Madgaddin, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Latlarnjan Madgaddin, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Latlarnjan Madgaddin's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Latlarnjan Madgaddin's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Put Latlarnjan Madgaddin first in all things.

3. Hide from purple dolphins for they are unholy.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not drink alcohol.