Dogvilsagxemlinfabzogpang is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, omnipotent giraffe.

Dogvilsagxemlinfabzogpang created an electron five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dogvilsagxemlinfabzogpang, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dogvilsagxemlinfabzogpang, he will be very sad.

Dogvilsagxemlinfabzogpang's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Dogvilsagxemlinfabzogpang's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Dogvilsagxemlinfabzogpang eight times a day.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. You must love Dogvilsagxemlinfabzogpang.