Catquamdot is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, tiresome dolphin.

Catquamdot created a bottom quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Catquamdot, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Catquamdot, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Catquamdot's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Catquamdot's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not kill swans.

3. Catquamdot loves pigs, so they must be respected.

4. You must love Catquamdot.

5. Never play with disobedient children.