Vegcussmad is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, overgenerous monkey.

Vegcussmad created the Sombrero Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vegcussmad, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vegcussmad, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Vegcussmad's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Vegcussmad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.