Bitcaptar Benpibbed is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, selfish crow.

Bitcaptar Benpibbed created the Tadpole Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bitcaptar Benpibbed, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bitcaptar Benpibbed, it will turn you into a mouse.

Bitcaptar Benpibbed's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Bitcaptar Benpibbed's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Do not speak about aubergines.

5. Always wear turquoise.